midway monster.

i am only a little hopeful that by the end of it all, i can look at someone and say, i am going to [ ____ ], and regarding the other schools to which i applied, the important thing is where i am going, not where i could have gone. [03.04.05]

no one seems to be home in the apartment that faces mine window-to-window across the garden. windows up, yet shades down, the view into their living room is nothing more than an opaque gray through our screens. in fact, i’ve hardly ever seen anyone in that apartment, despite the dim yellow glow of a lamp late at night sometimes. as i scan all the windows that face me now, the only signs of life are stray sounds and a couple of lighted windows. during this pre-school interim, my apartment has been deathly silent and only once in the week of living here so far have i actually run into someone in the hallway. with instruction beginning tomorrow however, life in my building has seemed to pick up a bit, and more muffled shouting in the hall seeps through my door. my upstairs neighbors, whoever they are, are up and about, now more apparent than ever before. heavy footsteps trek back and forth across the living room, to the bedroom, back through the living room, and to the closet, with a few hammer pounds and wood-floor squeaks and creaks every now and then.

in the still and muffled air of my room, the music from my speakers seem only capable of traveling a few feet before dying languidly, while the constant drips from my leaky kitchen faucet on the other hand, make it to my ears at all hours of the day and night. as the sky outside begins to darken grayer and grayer, turning red brick façades into a dull and dingy brown, i take a look at the overcast sky and wonder if it will rain again tomorrow. thanks to the constant hum and condensation drops from one of the air conditioners sticking out from one of the windows of one of the apartments across from me however, combined with the rustling leaves of the small japanese maple in the garden, it always sounds as if it is raining anyway.

campus is about fifteen minutes away by foot; twenty if i really take my time. while i am constantly advised to be aware, since the areas around school are not particularly upstanding, my usual route still consists of cutting across the small park between campus and my apartment. mostly pleasant by day, with the two small jungle gyms and swing sets occupied by children playing, nighttime never fails to cast a haunting shade over the crackling leaves and dark benches. despite reports of freak mid-afternoon muggings, it is really during these midnight hours, where it always feels like i am being followed by more than my shadow, which i watch elongate, shrink, and disappear over and over again as i pass underneath patches of amber streetlight.

although campus at night can be just as eerie as the surrounding neighborhoods, by day it is really quite charming and religious-looking – charming due to the buildings overrun with green ivy and religious-looking due to all the weathered masonry, gothic façades, and watchful gargoyles. south of campus, beyond the sunken grassy midway, once made famous by the world’s columbian exposition of 1893, the neighborhoods become more and more destitute and dangerous. two or three blocks past the edge of campus buildings and a few university apartments, housing project zones begin. here, the poverty line seems to refer more to an actual street rather than mere socioeconomic terms, and here, some of the poorest people live in the shadows of oil magnate john d. rockefeller’s turrets and towers.

despite the corporal disappearance of all the glamour and wealth which once illuminated the now dark streets and grassy knolls in the late nineteenth century, with the exception of nearby museum of science and industry’s current neoclassical palatial home, most of that bygone affluence still courses through the vines and within the gray gothic limestone of campus, giving sight to the gargoyles and chimeras which have bared constant witness to over a century change in the buildings and peoples surrounding this, the university of chicago.

education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
: wilde.