the virtue of patience.

pausing momentarily from my book, i take a sip from my glass, returning it it its napkin rug on the wooden table before me. the pendant lamp above casts a yellow glowing round over a bottle of ketchup, mustard, and a1 steak sauce. two stout salt and pepper shakers stand guard like a pair of opposing rooks. rocking to a gentle stop, the amber liquid in my half-filled cocktail glass magnifys the cherry which has nestled itself comfortably in the base. lit from above, the eeire candied round looks like a stemmed flourescent heart, ready to beat at any moment. beside the oily poison my glass of water looks cool and refreshing. bathing ice cubes, which have stacked themselves upon one another to reach the surface for air, every so often shift positions as they melt. beads of water condensing on the cold slippery outer surface of the glass occasionaly dislodge themselves from rest. enveloping other beads who unfortunatelly happened to be sleeping in their path, each tiny jauggernaut gathers speed as it streams down the glassy side and crashes into the tan napkin coaster below, spreading out like dark pooling blood.

over my head speakers blare out up-beat oldie rock tunes, not loud enough to be offensive, yet not soft enough to be ignored. as i continue to read and flip pages, murakami lowers me into the dark depths of a deep well, while kool & the gang's celebrate never fails to rip me out of fantasy with each ya-hoo! at the table across from me, from which i have take some refuge to read, arun works on business matters while vanda works on internship applications - the little flourescent white apples on their sleek gray laptops shine back at me in blatent corporate branding. we are all waiting for something, i recall from a previous conversation. whether they be internships, immigration proceedings, and graduate school replies, we are all waiting for something. luckily, murakami fires back again right on cue.

you must be very worried, she said. there is nothing i can say at this point, but things should begin to come clear before too long. now all you can do is wait. it must be hard for you, but there is a right time for everything. like the ebb and the flow of the tides. no one can do anything to change them. when it is time to wait, you must wait.

despite the plans people make when they are feeling particularily optimistic or pessimistic, i have since come to the very real realization that not everything plays out like i had originally hoped, and as kim said in a recent conversation, sometimes, it's a blessing things didn't go as planned. such is the way.

when the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
: wilde.